something i don't normally do

i did something today i don't normally do - i lost my cool.

i am constantly disturbed by the lack of civility shown by the kyrygz people.  the ethnic russians living in bishkek are a little better.  they will at least acknowledge you before they run you off the street.  but the ethnic kyrygz are horrible.  they are rude although they don't think they are.  they lack in any sort of manners.  no sort of kindness and politeness.  i am not writing this to rage against the local culture but to acknowledge that it is just so much different than what westerners find acceptable.  and people have cultural difference.  i am ok with that.  in fact i am better than ok with that... that is why we are living overseas.  but one and a half years into the bishkek adventure and i still find myself struggling to smile sometimes.

there is a little alley way that we have to drive down in order to get to our apartment.  one one side of the alley way is a big government building (which houses the lawyers and lawmakers who work in the supreme court building that is across the street.  on the other side of the alley way is a construction site where they are building a 5 story building.  not sure if it is office space or apartments - not important to the story.  the construction site is surrounded by this tall, aluminum fence.  at the end of the alley (right after we turn into our apartment) is another parking area.  the area is always busy.  cars coming and going and parked everywhere.  very slow and empty at night and on the weekends - but crazy during the work day.

on the government building side of the alley way are a couple of assigned parking spaces.  cars are always parked there and they drivers are always next to the cars cleaning them (people here are obsessed with clean cars).  if they are not washing the cars they are chain smoking and drinking vodka.  i pass these guys everyday on my way home from work.  typical locals.  they always stare as i go by.  i gave up smiling or waving a long time ago although i will break out with the curt head nod every so often if i am feeling frisky.

today as i turn off our street into the alley - i find that multiple cars have illegally parked on the construction side of the alley effectively blocking all traffic from driving down it.  a women in an suv was trying to pull out of the alley (coming from the parking lot in the back) and was stuck.  she was laying on her horn (and had been for a while as about 20 people where standing around watching in frustration.  non of the drivers of the illegally parked cars were to be found.  but the driver of one of the cars in the assigned spaces was standing there, ignoring the honking horn, washing his car.

i realize it was not his fault that the alley was blocked.  i understand that.  but he very easily could have alleviated the situation by jumping in his car and moving it so the lady and myself could pass.   i rolled down my window and asked him "nicely" do do this.  he ignored me.  i asked again.  keep in mind i was trying to be heard over the blaring of the car horn about five feet away from us.  he pointed to the reserved parking sign indicating that he wasn't going to move. i asked again nicely.  he promptly decided to ignore me... gave the car one more rub down... and then proceeded to walk away.

both the honking lady and myself jumped out of our cars to follow him.  he quickly ducked into the building and up the stairs.  the lady followed.  i stood next to his car completely frustrated.  why?  why?  why couldn't he just show a little bit of kindness and politeness?

at this point i could do one of three things.  1.  follow the guy into the building and cause a even bigger scene even though i know it will be to no avail.  2.  sit in my car and wait it out... the other drivers have to come out at some point.  3.  park around the street close to the apartment and don't worry about it.

i went for option 4 which is losing my cool.

must to the wide eyed astonishment of the 15 or so people still standing around - i reached down and grabbed a huge handful of sloppy mud (the snow has all melted and mud is everywhere) and hurdled at the car. everyone was quiet and shocked including myself.  too late to turn back - i did it a second time.  now the driver's side door and front window are covered in it.

you have to understand people take HUGE pride in keeping their cars clean here - to the point of washing them everyday.  it is rare to see anyone with a really dirty car.  if you do they are either farm folks from the villages coming into town or american's like myself.  you would have thought i killed somebody by the way that the bystanders reacted.

i decided to scram.  i jumped in my car and let.  driving around the block and sneaking into the apartment to tell jennifer what had just happened.  we both laughed.  a nervous laugh.  not so much at what i did as that i did something so out of character.

i am a bit stressed about what his response will be as i see the driver almost everyday.  here is hoping that he isn't mafia... or related to the president.  although it felt good to strike out against the lack of civility with some non-civility of my own... in hindsight it was a bad, bad idea.