maybe there is a correlation between a country's economic status and the efficiency of it's bureaucracy

jen and i are still figuring out all of the subtleties of travel in central asia. bishkek is not a hub with which you can easily flight in and out of (with the exception of flights to istanbul, moscow and london). if you want to fly any place else... your best bet is almaty, kazakhstan which is a couple of hours drive north of bishkek. for the record... kyrgyzstan and kazakhstan are different countries! the cheapest (or so we thought) and easiest way to fly to delhi for our trip to india was to fly out of almaty. sure... we would need to rent a driver to take us there... but so much easier than flying out of bishkek.

of course we didn't take into account visas.

we each have a year long kyrgyz visa (so we are no longer illegal!) and of course an american passport. to travel to india... we go to the indian embassy here in bishkek and apply for a visa. we have some parents are our school who work at the indian embassy and the told us that it shouldn't be a problem. we just need to get our kazak visa first. since we are flying out of almaty... we need transit visas to cross the border to get to the airport. if we were just flying to almaty... we won't need a transit visa... good to know for future reference.

so today my director told me to go home from school after one period. i have been struggling with a horrible sinus infection for almost a week and last night it was at it's worse. i was coughing and wheezing so much that it kept me (and jenny) up all night last night. i had fits so bad that we didn't even hear the four drunk guys who for the past week have been drinking, smoking, setting off their car alarm, and laughing each night at 200am. so a blessing in disguise if you will. anyway... i went to school... not feeling well... and marykay tells me to go home.

i decided this would be a good time (as things you postpone to the last minute only take a minute) to go get our kazak transit visas so we could go get our indian visas.

the kazak embassy is not far from the school and is located just down the street from the american embassy. nice building. green trees and grass. nice new building. but complete chaos. no one in central asia stands in "line". they just pile up to the front of the line (on the bus... at the store... at the school... you get the idea). there is no concept of "you go ahead... you were here first". people push... people cut... people are shocked if you say something to them. and people don't say "hey... i was here first" as most likely they cut the line themselves. no "american manners" whatsoever.

so i walk up to the embassy and get in the back of the line. "the line" consist of a mass of people trying to make it through the door to the entrance way at the same time and one, small, polite canadian woman standing some distance behind watching the fracas before her. she is small, polite and trying to form a line so i get behind her. one... the two... then four... people walk up after me and cut in line in front of her. guessing that she doesn't know "the way we do things around here" i suggest to her that we push our way up and not let anyone else cut the line or else we will be here all day. she agrees and we pile drive our way into the back of the mongul horde and inch towards the entrance.

once inside the front entrance of the embassy... about 40 minutes later... we are stopped by a "security" officer who is acting like a bouncer at a trendy los angeles night club. when someone leaves... he looks the crowd over... nods to a random person... opens the door slightly and lets them in as 20 other people try to squeeze in at the same time. very efficient. ever so often he leaves the door and entrance way to walk outside for a minute or so. does he have gas? does he not like crowds? it is so random.

while he is gone... folks knock on the door until someone inside (who is waiting to apply for a visa) opens the door... and then they pile inside. the guard comes back... opens the door to see who has sneaked in... kicks them out... and then closes the door again. after a couple of minutes... he walks outside and the whole process is repeated. each time though i inch closer and closer to the door... not giving way to the people who are kicked out and who try to get in front of me. after about 20 more minutes i am glued to the door... flashing my baby blues at the guard.

he finally lets me in. even less organization inside. at least 15 people just milling around. one window that you have to bend down to talk into. two guys sitting inside. one is reading the paper. and the other is talking on his cell phone. i stuff our applications and passports through the window. he looks at them for two seconds... and tells me in broken english that i am missing some information that i must fill out before he will help me.

i borrow a pin from the mousy canadian lady (i have no idea how she managed to get this far on her own) and fill out the one line i missed on our applications and walk back up to the window. in the mean time the guard outside must have walked off again because at least 30 people come surging into the room (it is elbows to ass cheeks at this point). we are all fighting our way to the visa window... a scrum is about to break out... when the guard shows back up and starts dragging people out by their collars. i am not lying. i try the ole "don't look and i won't be noticed trick" but he grabs me anyway and escorts me outside. i doth protest but neither his english or my russian get the message through... "but i was already here!".

the good thing about being a big fat american is that it is really easy to throw your weight around. people are so small here. i used my butt to crave a place out in the front of the line and waited again to be let in. another 10 minutes goes by and he opens the door for a couple of ladies and i slide in with them.

sprint to the front of the line. hand in our applications and visas. the guy looks them over. the other guy is still reading the paper. he tells me that before i can get a kazak transit visa i need to go to the kazak bank in downtown and pay $40. i can't pay here? no... you can't pay here. i decide to try the same jedi mind trick that i use when i get pulled over. can i pay for the visa here? no... you can't pay here. can i pay here? no... you have to go to the bank and pay and then come back. but it would be easier if i could pay here. no... you can't pay here and we will only give you a one way transit visa and we won't give you that until you get an indian visa first.

ugh.

so i leave. drive to the kazak national bank (a 20 minute drive)... pay $40... and decide to call it quits for the day as i need to go home and take a nap.

tomorrow i will go and apply for the indian visa. hopefully it will be easier. once i get that (it normally takes three to five days) i will head back to the kazak embassy with the receipt for $40, our applications, our indian visas... and go through the process all over again.