had a bad day

yesterday was a "bad" day. it started off when i decided to fast for the day. something that i am trying to do once a week. a good way to cleanse the mind and soul i guess. anyway... when i fast... besides feeling cleansed and soulful... i am also tired, hungry and grumpy. so hard to say if it really accomplishes anything. but we will see. my morning routine consist of checking my email first thing before we head off to school. this is just a fancy way of saying i check up on my fantasy basketball team the "birdnest bombers". 15 - 2 baby! yes... i am a dork. so i go to turn on my "trusty" laptop and it won't start. the lights come on for about one second... and then flick off. determined... i push the button again. the lights come on again for about one second and then flick off. again. nothing. again. nothing. again. nothing. well... maybe if i do it one more time. again. nothing. again. nothing. again. nothing. but i couldn't stop as i was convinced that if i clicked it ONE MORE TIME that i would hit jackpot. again. nothing. again nothing. so although my computer never started up... i was reminded as to why i should never gamble in vegas as i could see myself stuck at a slot machine all day and night thinking "one more time". later in the day after doing some research online (with a different computer) i came to the conclusion that my motherboard has gone out (this...after my hard drive died in august). no problem... a couple hundred dollars and i will have a new motherboard and my computer back! i'll just run down to best buy... or circuit city... or fry's... oh. we don't have those in central asia. and since i doubt the bazaars will have them. i am out a computer and more importantly... tons of photos that i haven't posted yet.

the day continued downhill after i get to school and get an email from my dad saying that they are going to have to stop chemo on him as his white blood cells are too low to take it. it also looks like his cancer has spread to his other lung and his hip. the doctors are going to try a specific type of radiation on him instead of chemo. we are praying that this will work. either way... kind of scary. your thoughts and prayers are welcomed.

by this point in the day... it is only 800am.

i get a call about an hour later from david stillwell, the guy i coach with on our club basketball team (the snowflakes! yes... these are high school guys who call themselves the "mighty snowflakes") saying that we need to have a team meeting as some parents called him saying that their kids want to quit the team as they feel there isn't enough "team unity". i could blog for hours on my kids and their home schooled, church influenced ideas of "TEAM UNITY" but i will save it for another day. needless to say... it wasn't my idea of how i wanted to spend wednesday night. so right after school... tired and grumpy from not eating all day (but feeling spiritually... spirited) i rush out of BIS with jen in tow to drive to hope academy (the other local, expat school and the school where most of the kids on my team go) for our team meeting.

bishkek is a laid out in a big huge square. achenbyvea street (where BIS is located and the main street off of which we live) runs east west on the southern part of town and parellel to the big mountain range outside of town. chui runs east west on the north part of town and is the "cool" part of town with all the parks, museums, government buildings, bars, etc. connecting achenbyvea and chui are manas (running north south on the west end of town) and sovietksya (running north south on the east side of town). bishkek is intersected (a fancy way of saying cut in half) north south by the railroad (from which you can catch a three day train to moscow... something that is on our list of adventures that we MUST take while here). outside of the achenbyvea/chui/manas/sovietksya square... the town runs out like spokes. but other than a couple of the bigger bazaars (osh being the best example) everything we need is usually inside of this square. oh... and the square is only about 10 square kilometers... everything is pretty close.

in theory.

during the bishkek "rush hour" driving from BIS to Hope (located off of chui and sovietksya) can take up to 30 minutes. this is because normal, civilized traffic laws don't apply here. when one person decides to run a red light... every car behind him will run the red light as well. when cars are backed up at a light. one car will decide to pass the lane of traffic by driving down the opposite lane into oncoming traffic... and when one car does this everyone else follows suit. and as mentioned before... each lane is made of "two rows" of traffic but not really as you will have three to four cars abreast driving in the same direction down the "two row" lane. as crazy as it all sounds... it works. except when the traffic police are out.

and wednesday they were out in force.

the way it works is that a traffic cop stands right past a light... with his toy store light sabre in his hand... waving people over. he waves you over if you run a flashing green light. he waves you over if you run a flashing yellow light. and he waves you over if you run a red light. he waves you over if you turn right on red. the order of the lights are green (everyone goes)... flashing green (what substitutes as a green turn arrow... although no one coming in the opposite direction stops which mean you have to wait until a yellow light)... yellow (which means clear the intersection unless you are a bus and then you can keep going)... and then red (which means the other cars from the cross street are already in the intersection as they started going when your light turned yellow and they jumped the green light).

so traffic sucks. i am going to a meeting that i don't want to be in because i am not feeling all touchy feeling and wanting to yell at my team and tell them that there is "no crying in basketball". i am running late. jen is tired and feeling pregnant. and i am on the phone telling david stillwell that i am running late when i see the toy light sabre waving me over to the side of the road.

when you get waved over the traffic cop (in this instance a woman! go equal rights in bishkek!) comes over. shakes your hand. and then asks to see your papers. remember... everything is in russian. i grab the papers and hand them to her and then get out of the car.

a note about "papers". as a former soviet republic, bishkek is all about records. everything is record. hand ledgers. notebooks. receipts. everything. they are fanatical about it. driving papers consist of your registration (showing that you paid a bribe in order to be able to put the car in your name when you bought it) ... technical papers (showing that you paid a bribe instead of having to put a first aid kit and fire extinguisher in your car)... your drivers license (showing that you paid a bribe in order to be able to drive... there are no "drivers test" here)... and your id card (or in this case... my passport... showing that you paid a bribe in order to be able to pay bribes).

i normally try to get out of tickets by saying "ye ne pakneemyu" which is russian for i don't understand you. or i break out the "ye ne gabaru po russki" which is russian for i don't speak russian. no luck. as she continued to talk to me in russian while speaking very slowly and loudly... determined to make me understand what i had done wrong.

here is my translation and transcript of what happened:

traffic cop: hi. do you know why i pulled you over?
me: hi. i don't speak russian.
traffic cop: do you know why i pulled you over?
me: hi. i don't speak russian.
traffic cop: you don't speak russian.
me: i don't speak russian.
traffic cop: do you speak russian a little bit?
me: i speak russian a little bit, yes.
traffic cop: do you know why i pulled you over?
me: i don't understand you.
traffic cop: i thought you spoke russian a little bit?
me: i speak russian a little bit, yes. a little, little bit.
traffic cop: you can't talk on your cell phone while driving (using hand gestures)
me: i don't understand you.
traffic cop: you can't talk on the cell phone while driving (using hand gestures)
me: oh... no phone driving (using hand gestures)
traffic cop: yes. no cell phone while driving.
me: i am sorry. i didn't know. can i go now?
traffic cop: what? i don't understand english.
me: i don't speak russian. can i go now?
traffic cop: what? i don't understand english.
me: can i go now? (using hand gestures)
traffic cop: no. i am going to write you a ticket and take your papers to the police station. you have to go to the police station tomorrow, pay a fine and then get your papers back.
me: how much do i have to pay (suddenly able to understand most of what she was saying)?
traffic cop: 500 soms (about 12 dollars)
me: so you are saying i can drive in the middle lane, go down the wrong lane into oncoming traffic, jump green lights... but i can't talk on the cell phone?
traffic cop: i don't understand what you are saying.
me: can i pay you now?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you now?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you now?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you now?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you now?
traffic cop: yes.
me: can i pay you 200 soms?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you 200 soms?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you 300 soms?
traffic cop: no.
me: can i pay you 300 soms?
traffic cop: you can pay me 1000 soms.
me: here are your 500 soms.

of course in this case there was no paperwork or ticket as the money goes directly into the pocket of the traffic cop. so go back to the car where my tired and hungry pregnant wife is waiting. rush to Hope. jennifer asks to come inside but i tell her that she needs to wait in the car since it is a team meeting. note to self... never tell wife, pregnant or not, that she has to wait in the car. will always lead to an argument!

went into the meeting and talked about feelings with a bunch of 14 year olds for 30 minutes.

it was enough to make me break my fast.